April 30, 2002

I'm mad as hell, and I'm not going to take it anymore


So there is a new online quiz that tells bloggers what Blog archetype they are. When one considers the massive popularity these quiz things have had among bloggers recently (guns, storybook characters, superheroes, David Bowies...) the idea of one that tells you what blogger you are most like is like a super-virus perfectly engineered to generate Googles for itself. I mean, what blogger could resist perpetuating something so topical, self-deprecating, and humorous? I'll tell you who: me.

No more online quizzes that generate little categorized labels to be attached to blogs. It's gone to far. We've nearly forgot to make fun of the French altogether, so caught up we've been with taking theses foolish quizzes, and it’s come back to haunt us: The web has detected our love of quizzes, and concocted on so fiendishly clever that bloggers are helpless to resist its linkable charms. How can we expect the old-school media to take us seriously if we keep wasting our time and journalistic integrity on these things? I won't stand for it... I can't... end the madness....




You are an Andrew Sullivan.

You are not afraid to share your political views with everyone in candid and clear ways.

You may also be making some money... one day.

Take the What Blogging Archetype Are You test at GAZM.org




Forgive me...

April 29, 2002

From Drudge...

So first Aaron Brown openly bitches on the air about his assigned news topics, then he claims to be the "face of CNN" in an internal memo. What's next? Refusing to go on until he gets a danish? You know, I could swear I've seen this exact same act somewhere before, and believe me, the similarities are striking. Well, I'll let you folks judge for yourselves:




"Aaron, do you think they'll let us start picking and choosing which news is fit to come out of our heads now?"
"Shut up Kent, can't you see I'm trying to look dynamic and focused?"
"Can I have Judy Woodruff's phone number Aaron?"
A couple of Milestones today: I got my 500th hit, and the site hit the number one search result for "Sean Kirby" on Google. To quote Josh Lyman - I drink from the keg of glory, bring me the finest bagels and muffins in all the land!

April 28, 2002

Iraqi Regime Stockpiling Oil, Food, Gas

Hmm, I wonder why this didn’t occur to me sooner: when Iraq cut off oil shipments for a month (why only a month, and not until they get their demands I asked) it wasn’t because they wanted to support Palestine. As with Egypt’s support of Palestine (we’ll help you, but you have to pay us all the money you have, plus more) Iraq’s “support” was ultimately self-serving. It’s real goal was actually to stockpile, among other things, oil, in preparation for a coming US invasion. It was really a brilliant move – begin hording oil incase the US invades, but at the same time make it look like it’s being done in solidarity with the Palestinians.

I suppose we should have expected this – after all, it’s a well known fact that none of the Arab states have ever cared in the least about the Palestinians. Not enough to take in the refugee “brothers” when they needed it, and certain not enough to cut off their own primary export (besides terrorism that is) to assist them. No, Iraq’s real endgame here was to use Israel’s incursion into the west bank as a red herring, an excuse to justify cutting off oil supplies for a month, and build up a cache of that magic liquid – the stuff that fuels amour columns and dictators the world round.
Behold, the true Identity of the Pundit in the Machine - Finally revealed!



"Iconoclasts? Where? I'll box them about their head and neck! Attack Trafalger, attack!"
Little Green Footballs is getting a lot of googles from people looking for Saudi Girl Porn. Just thought I would do my part to nudge them that way.
Palestinian says spirits high in church

Well thank Allah for that. I’ve been up nights all week worrying about moral among these kidnappers. “Are the priests being held at gunpoint complaining too much?” “Has having to execute suspected Israeli collaborations taken it’s toll on your mental health?” I can’t tell you how it warms my spirit to know that everything is going ok, and the hostage taking and murder can proceed in good spirits.
I’m not even going to talk about these Palestinian murderers who disguised themselves as Israeli soldiers and went house to house slaughtering innocent women and children. While horrific beyond belief, it doesn’t represent anything new politically, except another chance for me to reply: Hunt them down, find them where ever they hide, and kill them all.
US Plans Invasion of Iraq, appropriate location of post-war celebration cabaña

This is why I love America. Here we are, reading the New York Times, learning the nuances of our coming invasion of Iraq from top government officials, and they don’t seem the least bit concerned about leaking this kind of information. Indeed, they could probably announce: “Saddam, we’re coming for you next week, our invading force will arriving at this location at precisely 9 am, come and try to stop us.” without in the least risking the success of the mission. Hell, they’re even admitting that their waiting for the weather to get better – it wouldn’t be much fun to topple governments in the summer heat, what with the bulky clothes and all.

Well it sounds like a flawless plan to me, under one condition: Lt. Col. Killgore must be incharge of the after-invasion beach party.



"Mighty fine weather for drinkin’ and ousting dictators, if I do say so myself. And would somebody put out that oil fire behind me? It's harshing my tan."

UPDATE: It's only fair that I address the possibility that these plans are disinformation. But we all know that the office of Disinformation closed down - it was in the newspaper, and thereby opened a logical paradox that will probably unravel the universe.

April 27, 2002

The poetry submissions we’ve gotten so far have been nothing short of brilliant. I was hoping for clever, satirical and maybe a little cruel, and they’ve so far been all that and much more. Keep ‘em coming.

April 26, 2002

Blowing Out Candles while Rome Burns


The man with the drinks and I share the same birthday - Big Time Blooger Birthday Bash's all around. I'm gonna go eat cake and watch the world go to hell.
Simplese Evil Part Deux


It seems that Krauthammer agrees with me. And he does it better then I did.
Eighteen Dead in German School Shooting


I suppose it’s not just a North American problem then. It’s the same “disgruntled teenage male storms high school with gun’s blazing” that we’ve seen to many times in on this continent. There’s been a great deal of speculation as to how such things can happen, mostly ignoring the basic fact that for many people, high school is the worst time in their lives, both because of the social conditions they face, and because most people are too immature to handle it. If someone is the kind of person to respond to excessive stress and unpleasantness with psychotic violence, you can bet that high school is the time when its going to happen.
Special mention to the police officer who was killed attempting to save the students in the school, that was real heroism. Unlike what seems to have happened at Columbine, in which police apparently arrived on the scene expecting a hostage situation, and sat around awaiting god knows what, it never occurring to them that maybe it’s not a hostage situation at all, and they better go in and get the shooters. I still want answers from that debacle.
If you keep doing that, you’ll go blind


As you may or may not know, based how your awareness of Canadian “politics”, MP Keith Martin has now formally apologized for wielding the ceremonial mace. Reports indicate that he was given a firm talking to, and advised that such behavior is not tolerate on the Parliament floor. If he wishes to continue, he should do so in his private chambers with a neck-tie hanging on the door.
The First Annual Warblogger Stupid French Poetry Contest


Scumbag Arab leaders and suicide bombers have taken a lot of flak recently in the mediums of Limerick and Haiku. While this is all well and good, I propose we, to paraphrase myself, “kick the exhortation up a notch.” Here’s the plan:

In time for next Wednesday (the weekly blogger poetry day) we will attempt to produce a Villanelle concerning the offending quasi-humans. The best poems (read: all of them) will then be posted in this space on that day. For those of you not familiar with the work of Dylan Thomas, villanelles are a format of poetry from France. Like most things from France, they were designed with the primary purpose of pissing people off owing to their maddening rules, which are as follows:

It is 19 lines long, but only uses two rhymes, while also repeating two lines throughout the poem. The first five stanzas are triplets, and the last stanza is a quatrain such that the rhyme scheme is as follows: "aba aba aba aba aba abaa." The tricky part is that the 1st and 3rd lines from the first stanza are alternately repeated such that the 1st line becomes the last line in the second stanza, and the 3rd line becomes the last line in the third stanza. The last two lines of the poem are lines 1 and 3 respectively, making a rhymed couplet.


Anyone capable of producing anything resembling one of these beasts is truly a master.

Suggested topics for poems include, but are not limited to:

Suicide Bombers
Arab “Leaders”
Idiot Leftists
France
Fat, well fed Oil-Barons
Arafat
The Nobel Prize Committee
That Sept. 11th Highjacker guy’s Lawyer
That Sept. 11th Highjacker guy

Please email your work to me (click on my name at the bottom of the post) asap.

That’s it. Let the games begin.

UPDATE: No post about poetry and punditry would be complete without droppinga link to Unremitting Verse. Not because it has anything to do with the issue at hand, but because, well, they OWN this kind of thing over there.

April 25, 2002

Ok, so we all already know that Egypt claims it will go to war with Israel for $100 Billion. We also know that there is no way in heaven or hell that the Arab world could come up with such an outrageous sum. Furthermore, we know that Egypt knows this, and it’s exactly why they said it: It’s the easiest way to show total support to Palestine without having to actually do anything:

“Sure, we’d love to help you out. We really would, but we’re just a little short on cash right now you see? If you could spot us a few billion, we would totally have your back, but it’s April and all… No? Oh well, sorry, there’s nothing we can do.”

You know what I think? 100 billion is only one third our annual defense budgets. If that can buy us an excuse to destroy Egypt’s military, it would be a steal. Let’s loan them the money ourselves. Just you try and fuck with Israel guys, see how far it gets you.
This is the last one... I promise.





which children's storybook character are you?

this quiz was made by colleen

The Police State of the Union

Link via Daily Pundit:

Jailed Sheik Disappears

Link via Drudge:

Police can search homes without telling why

Ok, now as I’ve said before, I don’t want to come across as a fear monger, or Chicken Little, but when the shoe fits….

The United States of America is now a country where you and your property can be searched without disclosure of cause, you can be tried and convicted of a crime, then promptly vanish to an “undisclosed” location without a trace. All thanks to anti-terrorism legislation. I’m all for fighting terrorism at home and abroad with the most swift and brutal methods at our disposal, but one thing we cannot do is completely rape each and every right that exists for the preservation of a free legal system. In the past month, such basic legal guidelines as habeas corpus and the Fourth Amendment have been rendered as good as null.
The reason “shit like this doesn’t happen in this country” is traditionally understood to be “because the American people would never stand for it.” That’s right, they wouldn’t. I won’t, and if the rest of the American people are made aware of what’s going on, I’m sure they will not either.
Which David Bowie are you?


Come on, don't hold out on us Steve

UPDATE: The Image died, it has been removed.

April 24, 2002

If you find that any of your favorite websites have become slow to update lately, its more than likely not a technical problem. I think the lion’s share of the blame can be placed squarely here.
From the Department of “If this story weren’t true somebody would have to write it”

Merrill Lynch hires Rudy Giuliani to defend against Criminal Charges

I am shocked, shocked I say, to discover there may have been some level of underhandedness in Merrill’s stock recommendations. I mean, I’ve been buying AOL-Time Warner for years based on their advice…
Web-polling revisited

There’s one of those marvelously scientific web-polls running at Netscape asking users whether they agree with the Catholic Church’s new “Zero Tolerance” Policy regarding child abuse. Sure, 93% of people voted yes, but 4400 (at last count) people still voted no. My theory? They just saw “Catholic Church” and “agree” in the same sentence, and instinctively voted no. Good try, but this time you just said people should get a second chance after raping kids. No you feel dumb don't you?

April 21, 2002

France – It’s the new Germany

There is a new holocaust brewing in Europe, and if something is not done immediately, many, many people will die.

Having dispensed with the requisite fear mongering, allow me to explain the basis for the above statement. There is a growing trend in Europe that is so frighteningly similar to the Germany circa 1935 that it sends chills down my spine. This time, however, the cancer of anti-Semitism is not growing in Germany. While you may have seen the photo of the 5 year old girl wearing fake dynamite and carrying Yasser Arafat’s photo in Berlin, do not be deceived, the source of the problem is France. In the past month alone, there have been over 340 documented cases of anti-Jewish related crimes. Everything from petty vandalism to extreme cases like physical assaults and the burning of synagogues has made painfully obvious the burn hatred towards Jews that exists in that nation.

To make matters even worse, recent polls suggest that right-wing extremist Jean-Marie Le Pen has a staggering hold on the country’s vote (17 percent to Jacques Chirac’s 20 percent.) Widespread anti-Semitism, rampant anti-Jewish attacks, and the rise of a hardliner right wing politician, does this sound familiar to anyone else? Now, I don’t want to be one of those writers that sound the Nazi-siren at the drop of a hat. God knows that Hitler comparisons have become such staple of left-wing argument that they seem to have lost all meaning, but they have not. The fact is, there is a virulent anti-Semitic, anti-Israel, pro-terrorism faction making itself known in France, and it would behoove the rest of the world to recognize it as soon as possible.

I know, I know, you’re saying that in the modern day, a repeat of the Holocaust in Europe would simply be impossible, and I agree. There is no way that anything approaching the genocide we saw in the 1940’s could happen, for a thousand reasons that need not be enumerated here. But that does not mean that this new political faction will not cause the murder of Jews, they can, and they will, if left unchecked. However, the killing will most likely be conducted as everything is in our modern economy: they will simply export it.

After all, Europe’s anti-Semitism today is not targeted at European Jews (there are so few of them left that it would be largely useless anyway), but rather Israeli Jews, and the nation of Israel itself. Opposition to an Israeli war of survival is not only the best smokescreen for Anti-Semitism that has come along in decades, but it is also the best strategy to destroy the Jewish people: by hitting them where they live. Surely, even the most radical hate monger in France knows that burning Synagogues will not lead to the destruction of the Jewish people, but supporting terrorists and those actively campaigning for the destruction of Israel… well that’s another matter. France, and it’s influence in the EU, need only slow down the Israel’s hunt for terrorists one day to long, or keep Yasser Arafat alive one day too long, for a madman with a bomb, or a vial of anthrax to kill dozens, or hundreds of Israeli citizens. A French government in the form of the right-wing faction Le Pen represents does not need to build camps and gas chambers to exterminate Jews; it need only sit by while Palestinian terrorists do what they do best.

It is said that the only thing necessary for evil to flourish is for good men to do nothing. Well Mr. Le Pen is not a good man, nor are the people responsible for the 340 attacks on Jews in France this month good men, and if these people have their way, they will not only do nothing to stop evil, they will do much to foster its growth. Evil exists in the world today, and it’s allies in France would like nothing better then to export their own hatred beyond the reach of those who would fight it – to Palestine, where it can find ready soldiers and deep pocket leaders, and to Israel, where it can do the greatest damage to it’s targets – damage from which the Jewish people may not survive.

April 19, 2002

Terrorism makes nuclear arms ban urgent: UN

Oh, now you’re against terrorism. When they’re not offering support to Palestinian killbots, the UN is pulling a sort of double edged attack on Nuclear weapons. On the one hand, they insist that Iraq allow UN weapons inspectors into the country, but at the same time decry the US for building a missile shield.

Sorry, but you can’t use the threat of terrorism as a justification for opposing the missile shield. The shield is designed to do exactly what the UN has failed to do for so many years – prevent Iraq from dropping nukes on the US. It seems so obvious I regret having to say it, but terrorism makes the existence of a reliable countermeasure to nuclear attack more necessary, not less.
Even More Classic Headlines:

Cardinals Look to Draft Abuse Rules

Ok, sounds great. Hey… I’ve got one: “Don’t Do It.”

The actual story isn’t quite as silly as the headline makes it sounds, but not by much.
Jews Control the Media Redux

"Eric A. Blair" - Anti-warbloggers extraordinaire, posted this in the Warblogger-watch Yahoo Group:

Before you guys get too excited about the reports from the National
Post, let me fill you in on a little background.
The majority shareholder in the National Post is the Asper family.
Any article that has to do with Israel or Palestine has to be sent to
the Southam Newspapers' head office in Winnipeg Canada for approval.
Anything remotely pro-Palestinian, or critical of Isarael is censored.
Columns that are sympathetic to the Palestinains have been removed,
and stories that too sympathetic to Palestine are altered.
This isn't some anti-semetic jews control the media conspiracy
theory. The other national newspapaer in Canada, the Globe and Mail,
frequently runs stories about the Southam censorship. You can sift
through the archives if you want. The journalists at Southam owned
Montreal Gazette even removed their names in off their stories for
one day to protest the censorship. It is also a major issue in
Canadian journalistic circles. Do your own research if you don't
believe me.
- Eric A. Blair



My response is as follows:

There's a difference between censorship and bias. A newspaper choosing to portray only one point of view is biased, but censorship requires an authority to silence public opinion. AS you pointed out, the National Post is, like every other paper, privately owned. It is under no requirement either by law or accepted custom to provide a balanced collection of editorials or commentary. It can, and does, provide editorials and commentary in keeping with he point of view of those who own the paper.

This is not some insidious plot, but it common custom among newspapers. Each paper is slanted in its own way, and good readers do not seek "unbiased" commentary, but rather seek to read the full range of biases. I can rely on the National Post to provide me with a consistent source of editorial opinion from a pro-Israel perspective, just as I can rely on ArabNews.com for the hateful anti-Jew perspective, and that's a good thing.

If i were to choose one of my own pro-Israel, pro-war pieces, and submitted for publication in the Socialist Vanguard, should i cry foul when it was inevitably turned down for being "too right wing"?
Of course not - I don't expect every paper to present every point of view. Each one is responsible for truthfulness in it's reporting, but is also free to present any view, or ignore any view, it wishes when it comes to commentary. That's not censorship, that's what we call a "free press."


P.S. Despite it's insistence that: "This isn't some anti-semetic jews control the media conspiracy theory." That’s exactly what it is.


…and I’m not even going to get started on the grammar and spelling.
Just one of those classic headlines:

Eggleton promises quick probe

Who needs a thorough investigation when you can have a quick probe? If I were a soldier in Afghanistan, I would certainly prefer exhaustive research into any mistakes that lead to bombs being dropped on me. That’s the sort of logistical error that needs to be smoothed out right.
Bringing Down the Hammer

Friday afternoon, you know what time it is: Krauthammer Time.

This week, our intrepid hero brilliantly and eloquently (bonus points for using my favorite standby phrase: “bestrode…like a colossus”) explains why US involvement in Israel is a repeating of past mistakes. Every time we win a crushing victory in the Arab world, we get sucked into wasting our newfound clout on Palestine, instead of using it on more useful tasks, specifically – hurting Saddam Hussein.

Here’s a tasty quote:

The government of Yemen, for example, is cooperating with us in the fight against al Qaeda. Not because its leaders reread the Federalist Papers and were moved. But because, like others in the region, they trembled at the demonstration of American reach and American will in Afghanistan.

He is so the man.

April 18, 2002

It's wackjob superhero day:

McCaslin, wearing a skeleton mask, body armor and a costume emblazoned with the words "Phantom Patriot," infiltrated the 2,700-acre (1,090 hectare) Bohemian Grove compound on Jan. 20 and set fire to part of a cafeteria building.

The best superhero name he could come up with was "Phantom Patriot"? It sounds like one of Captain America's crappy WW-II era sidekicks.

April 17, 2002

Scientists Eliminate Sleep

Ok, to be more specific, they've invented a drug which allows people to go without sleep for extended periods of time with no side effects or disruptions. I expect this will be the greatest boon the blogging community since that email-posting feature was added.
Its official, the United Nations just fell on the wrong side of the Bush Doctrine. They have offered support to a cause the United States has already labeled as terrorism, and as such must be considered as terrorists themselves.

Lest the United States be accused of violating it’s own doctrine, it cannot be allowed to harbor terrorists, and it therefore seems a reasonable measure that the United Nations be evicted form their headquarters in New York immediately. Furthermore, they should all have their assets frozen, and their militant wing, known as the “Human Rights Council” transported to Camp X-Ray where they will be held until such time as can stand military tribunal for their activities.


I know, wishful thinking, but wouldn’t that be nice.
Poetry Day? We have a poetry day?

Fine, here are a few off-handed Haikus about the killers-formerly-known-as-suicide bombers:

Strap dynamite on
Kill lots of Jews, Hey wait this
Is not Paradise…?

A belt full of death
Buys me eternal suffering
And not one single virgin

Your ass is in hell
Your brains are stuck to the wall
No reward for you

April 16, 2002

USS Clueless has raised the possibility that Warblogger Watch - a poorly written and illogical anti-war/anti-warblogger site - is actually a just a big troll.

While this is a definite possibility, I might point out that 90% of everything produced by the radical left is usually a troll as well. The only difference is that they like to pretend that it’s the brave expression of unpopular opinion in the face of harsh criticism, not what it is - pure flame bait.

April 15, 2002

By now, many of you have probably seen the film Black Hawk Down. In the fighting that the film depicted, American troops killed well over a thousand Somalis, losing something like a dozen of their own men. (Correct my figures if I'm wrong, please.) Was that a massacre? Well probably not, since they were fighting armed enemies, shooting their way out of hostile territory, and getting killed in significant numbers.

Why do we assume from the get-go that what happened in Jenin was a massacre, yet don’t apply the same label to the tragic events in Mogadishu? Two reasons: the first being the obvious anti-Israel bias in the media, the second being the fact that we “lost” in Mogadishu. Both Helicopters were shot down, Americans were killed, it was a mess. But it seems that whatever happened in Jenin, the Israeli’s “won”, and as the winner, they are immediately subject to the assumption that they were murderers and thugs. If they had been pinned down and overrun by Palestinian Militants, maybe had their bodies dragger through the streets for all to see, then maybe this would have been a “battle”, not a “massacre.”
Kathryn Jean Lopez at NRO explains why, just to be on the safe side, we better keep children in orphanages rather then let gay parents adopt: It’s because we don’t want them ending up in living situations that are potentially less then ideal see?
For the timocrats among us

I give you the granddaddy of all warbloggers: Plato.
I think I might just change the name of my site to “deathblogger”- or maybe “tortureblogger.” I just can’t compete with the rabid hyperbole of the anti-war crowd.
The Real Power of Human Bombs

Hundreds "massacred" in Jenin, thousands detained allegations of torture and cruelty towards prisoners - Israel has seen a laundry list of allegations hurled at it in the past week. Regardless of where one's allegiances fall in the matter of the Middle East conflict (mine certainly go towards Israel) the sad fact is that some, if not many of these allegations are probably true.

Israel, for right or wrong, has taken a brutal approach to their actions in the West Bank, and the results of this hardliner approach are at best uncertain.

The fact is, it's working: The tanks, checkpoints, and troops in the West Bank have effectively stemmed the tide of suicide bombers, uncovered irrefutable evidence of Arafat's payment of terrorists, as well as caches of his weapons. However, the cost of all this immediate success may be the on thing that Israel needs in the next stage of the conflict: the moral high ground.

Left wing press has done its best to cast the Middle East conflict in morally equivalent light - either because of malice towards Israel or simply because they cannot understand the complexities of the situation. However, thinking people know that in the long run, Israel is right. They are fighting for their existence against an enemy that turns its children into bombs and desires only the murder of Jews- any Jews - all Jews.

They are a beacon of democracy in a sea of extremism, totalitarianism, and hatred. It is a battle they cannot afford to lose, only the possibility is increasing every day that the terrorist attacks of the Palestinians may prove successful, yet not in the way we might think. If homicide bombers, hostage taking gunmen, and rabid "leaders" cannot use terrorism to physically destroy Israel, they still accomplish something else. The fear, anxiety and rage created by these attacks drive Israel to take drastic action, which in itself is the correct thing to do. However, it is when rage and the desire for safety lead Israel to take extreme actions not likely to solve these problems - such as killing large numbers of civilians - that terrorism begins to become effective. When the good guys are forced to give up their moral superiority in favor of immediate practicality or vengeance, then the PLO has won a major battle.

Israel is right, they are right to take drastic action to protect themselves from terrorists, they are right to occupy parts of the West Bank, and they are right to ignore the pleas of the US to behave themselves. In many ways, this rightness is all they have, and they must preserve it by resisting the urge to sink to the terrorist’s level by abusing human rights. No number of tanks or troops can hold the same power as being on the side of right, but no number of suicide bombers can do the damage that selling out would.

April 13, 2002

Should we be reading anything into the fact that the two most prominent symbols of American power are the U.S. Embassy and a McDonald's?

I mean, a McDonald’s – that makes sense. It’s the one of the biggest corporations in the world, a symbol of American entrepreneurial power and free market capitalism. And you can get a McFlurry with your choice of toppings – that’s freedom.

The Embassy, however, I don’t understand. Have you ever tried to get a passport at one of these places? It’s like a police state but with more dull architecture and out of date magazines. It’s got the president’s picture displayed all over the place, like a South American dictatorship, nothing remotely powerful or American about it. Stick to torching fast food restaurants, that really gets our blood boiling. Destroying a government office is just as likely to make us cheer as you.
I Am A: Lawful Evil Halfling Cleric Ranger


Alignment:
Lawful Evil characters believe that a nice, orderly system of life is perfect for them to abuse for their own advancement. They will work within 'the system' to get the best that they can for themselves.


Race:
Halflings are short and fat, like minuature people. (Think 'Hobbits') They enjoy the easy life, but aren't averse to the idea of an adventure from time to time. They get along with all races, and are known for their senses of humor. Halflings also tend to be light of foot, and can move quietly when necessary.


Primary Class:
Clerics are the voices of their God/desses on Earth. They perform the work of their deity, but this doesn't mean that they preach to a congregation all their lives. If their deity needs something done, they will do it, and can call upon that deity's power to accomplish their goals.


Secondary Class:
Rangers are the defenders of nature and the elements. They are in tune with the Earth, and work to keep it safe and healthy.


Deity:
Iyachtu Xvim is the Lawful Evil god of fear, hatred, malice, and tyranny. He is also known as the Godson and the Son of Bane. He appears as a gaunt, naked, scimitar-wielding man, or as a black cloud with glowing green eyes. His followers are working to strengthen his position in the world by converting (often by force) other deities' worshippers. They wear black robes with dark green trim, and wear black iron gauntlets with green eyes on the backs. Iyachtu Xvim's symbol is a black hand, inset with green eyes.


Find out What D&D Character Are You?, courtesy ofNeppyMan (e-mail)

Watching CNN Nightly News is like listening to children bickering over whose Dad is stronger. We’ve gotten to the point in the “peace process” where condemnations of murder must be brokered.

As the Palestinian representative on the show pointed out, any sane individual must be against the killing of Civilians. However, Arafat will only condemn the latest bombing if Israel first condemns the killings in Janin. It seems to me that if a condemnation must be secured by trade and negotiation, then it is already rendered meaningless. Any semblance of actual emotion or moral conviction has been stripped away by the fact that it was bought.

Words no longer have meaning - the chess game has moved so far from reality that it makes no sense. If something as simple as a condemnation of murder must be bartered, there really is no home that anything as tangible as not blowing people up, can ever be obtained.

I'm reminded of the Simpson's Episode where the Teacher's union went on strike:

Negotiator: Well, I guess we'll just have to agree to disagree!

Teacher: I don't agree to that.

Principal: Me either.

April 11, 2002

-----MASSIVE FUD ALERT--------

Experts: Chat rooms a haven for hackers

You see, there's this thing called IRC, and its *gasp* not owned or controlled by a major corporations like AOL or Microsoft, which is bad enough, but to make it worse, some experts are saying that its secretly used by illegal hackers for their secret, illegal, identity theft crimes!

I worry everyday about the fact that the FBI doesn't have the resources to listen to everyone’s conversation on the street all the time. How can I ever be safe unless somebody knows exactly what everyone is talking about? But now, its gotten even worse - they tell my that: "In the electronic world of the Internet, it's such a vast landscape and there's no way that the FBI and CIA or any law enforcement agency can be involved in watching over the shoulder of every Internet user ....Unfortunately, that's probably what it would have to take to prevent this sort of fraud."

Shit, whatever will we do? Dangerous hackers are using vague and mysterious chat rooms! Possibly to discuss their plans for world domination! Ban Chat rooms now! Won't somebody please think of the children?!
James Lileks has bought the anti-warbloggers for a carton of cigarettes, and made them his prison bitch. Enjoy.

April 10, 2002

I agree with Goldberg on this one in theory, but he's missing the point.

The so-called War on Terror really is a war on extremist Islam, and everybody knows it. That’s why we're not going to be going after the IRA any time soon. It's just that... well, you try declaring war on a religion, any religion, and see how far that gets you. Symantec’s, like terrorism, are a tactic, and in this case they're work just fine the way they are.
There's a Yahoo group called Warblogger Watch which aims to: "discuss and document the war exhortations of warbloggers such as (but not limited to) Glenn Reynolds and Andrew Sullivan"

I only noticed it when traffic to my own site started appearing through there. Now that I know someone is watching disapprovingly, I'll have to kick the exhortation up a notch.
A suicide bomber blows up Israeli bus during rush hour traffic near the northern city of Haifa. (Yahoo)

All I can say is: it’s a damn good thing Israel didn’t cave to pressure and pull out of the West Bank before this happened. If they had, this would just have reaffirmed all the existing reasons for their being there, and they would have had to go back in, looking foolish and indecisive for their trouble. Thank God they’re willing to tell the rest of us “Fuck off; we know what we’re doing.” And they do - the recent offensive (although defensive would be a more accurate term) put a stop to an eight day straight siege of suicide bombers. It’s a start, but this goes to show that it’s still got a ways to go.
I wonder if this is by the same esteemed statisticians who pulled that other youth drinking statistic out of their… study, a while back. Now they’re saying that drinking causes 1400 deaths a year among college students. I’m inclined to doubt that figure right away, regardless of the complete lack of explanatory information. Specifically, what do they consider “related” when they say “alcohol related” deaths?

Anyone who’s been to a major University will tell you that just about everything thing that goes on can be considered alcohol related to some degree. I don’t think 1400 kids drank themselves to death, or had 1400 fatal car accidents, but it I would believe that of 1400 deaths on University or college campuses, someone within ten feet had been drinking at the occurrence of each death. That means nothing, but of course, you already knew that.
Instapundit's archive appears to be down. And just when I was hungry for vintage Reynolds too.
This shit is still going on.

To me, this kid is a shining symbol of what Catholicism should be. He could have shown up at the prom with his boyfriend - without asking anyone, but he choose not to - why? Because, he "didn't think that would be honest."

He was told by his teachers that his religion did not approve of who he was, that his particular kind of love was "not in line with Church teachings" (paraphrase), and how does he reply? "I haven't lost faith in my religion, but I have lost faith in the school board,"

Love, forgiveness, honesty. The Church does remember these things doesn't it? I know it's been busy lately covering up the rape of little boys by its Priests, but if they could find a little time to reward, or at least tolerate, their betters among them, that would be just great.

Mr. Hall: you are a better Catholic then the members of your school board, you’re a better catholic then much of the Church authority, and you’re better catholic then I.
Instapundit’s list of his many apostles includes yours truly, and it’s meant mucho redirects to the site. And on another note, my homework is completed for the term, so I’m back to the grindstone blog wise starting… now.

(Self-righteous whining about one’s own blogging habits is like, #5 on John C. Dvorak’s hilarious criticisms of blogging - and yet he remains unlinked, how about that?)

April 08, 2002

Saddam is cutting off all oil shipments for at least a month.

Dare I hope that this means the "Iraqi suffering under UN trade sanctions" aregument has sputtered it's last breath? Somehow, I know that would be too good to be true. But the fact remains, Saddam is the greatest propaganda juggler of our time:

"Our army is powerful and skilled/We will fight with sticks and rocks if he have too"

"Sanctions are starving our people/Every Iraqi citizen recieves a full and healthy diet"

"Our poor economy is the fault of America/We're forgoing the needed income of oil just to spite America and Israel"

April 07, 2002

Mark Steyn is the smartest writer in the world.

Read him now, or I can't be responsible for what happens.

April 06, 2002

The aformentioned April 11th deadline is still in effect. Its surprising how addictive blogging is, I've had to tear myself away from this thing just to get any schoolwrok done, so I just know that the floodgates will be wide open after the end of the term. I hope I don't miss all the good news.
John C. Dvorak is just pissed because he knows that Bloggers control Google from our secret hyperlink-cabal, and thus command the flow of information. Well sorry John, while I must praise you in a clever attempt to harness the power of the blogosphere by insulting it, it's not going to get you any links here.

Besides, I think Microsoft released a new update patch for Office, shouldn't you be covering that?

April 05, 2002

Happy Fun Pundit has run a test of the Emergency Blog System. I advise you to read it.

"Some guy said something that really pissed me off is his column in large newspaper. He relies on discredited study and a lot of discredited ethical notion, not to mention poor economic thinking to make his point. Here's a short excerpt:
The entire field of psychology is a Jewish conspiracy.

You gotta hand it to ArabNews; they always manage to find new and interesting ways of hating Jews. This time, they point out the fallacy of the CIA maintaining psychological profiles on all the Arab leaders, because clearly, the theories of a 19th Century Jew cannot be applied to 20th century Arabs.

That, and the CIA probably doesn’t have anyone around who speaks Arabic in the first place.

April 03, 2002

Ugg, I read the first half a page of "Stupid White Men" on Amazon, I already feel dirty.

April 02, 2002

More Googles... must generate more googles.

Sign the petition to Revoke Arafats Nobel Peace Prize

April 01, 2002

Dammit, does anything NOT hurt the Canadian dollar?

I was going to go out and get a cup of coffee, but now I'm worried that it might have a deleterious effect on the currency.
Instapundit is right: fools, but fools with rights.

Besides, if Judges jail people because their political speech might cause violence, that gives people an excuse to respond with violence in the first place. If we protect every fools right to speak in law, then perhaps that mentality will spread to the street as well.
Remember folks: it's April 1st. Don't believe a thing you read for the next 24 hours.

...and only half of what you hear....